Not everyone can be frontline fighters — Those, who will not reason, is a bigot; he, who cannot, is a fool; and he, who dares not, is a slave. — William Drummond 1805 Being transgender is a three-fold struggle. One, you are a member of a hated minority. Two, even members of the other minorities hate you…

I had bigger breasts but she still got the money — I know, I know, I know, incredibly childish, and yes I was out drinking with friends. The simple proof that I drank too much was that we wound up in a stripper bar at the end of the night. Not my first choice but it was the third or fourth…

Shame and Guilt are the Whips of Choice — Many people, who grapple with the personal social pain and confusion of being transgender, have walked a very tormented path to simply accept and be who they are. The older you are, the longer and more painful the path of guilt and shame can be. Psychology Today offered a great…

Fantasies, mirrors and personal happiness — When I was first diagnosed as transgender, I was desperate to prove to myself I wasn’t. When I couldn’t prove it intellectually because there was just so much lifetime proof that my real gender was female, I tried to attack myself by my physical looks. Whenever I put on makeup…

We must leave behind those who choose not to join us — Most of our ancestors got on ships to come to America to create a new life. They left behind family and friends who could not or would not join them on the journey. Many tears and expressions of…

From the perspective of a trans woman in the crosshairs — Hate is one of the ugliest sides of humanity. Putin and Trump are just the latest versions. We read about hate every day. It feels like that’s all we have. Thankfully, it’s not but that doesn’t make the pain that hate generates go away. It is particularly painful when you…

Living life between a rock and a hard place — There are many varieties of marriage, each unique to the couple. Having read endless first-person blogs by married late-in-life, male-to-female (MTF) transgender people, the story seems to repeat itself over and over. You live a lifetime as her husband then, out of the blue, you discover you are transgender and…

I see the world with a wider lens — As I continue to slowly transition I often wonder if anyone notices the changes as I continue to dress male. The changes are so subtle that I doubt anyone does. Even I miss seeing them. I think some of the changes get lost in the aging process. I am in…

Test driving my gender — The manual for my car is still unopened in my glove compartment. The car has so many things about it that I still don’t know exist. Being a woman doesn’t even have an owners manual. I am still trying to figure out how to start my gender up much less…