Hitting My Wall of Transgender Truth at 65 Miles an Hour

I have been fighting an endless battle trying desperately to not physically transition. It is a battle I am losing a little bit every day. On another transgender support site, yesterday, someone described me and my situation to her wife:

“I wish you could see what I see here; a smart beautiful trans woman who is trying to reconcile her love for her wife with the need to be the woman she so clearly is.”

It ignited in inside me a series of explosions…again. I always react when I am told I am pretty or…