Male Invincibility

Until I discovered I was transgender, I had 60 years of living with male privilege. For me it has been a two-edged sword. Arguably male privilege has its advantages, all well documented with extremely valid points made by so many writers. No need to be repetitive here.

But for someone who has lived a lifetime suppressing their gender to meet all of the requirements of being male, the privileges have come with a very painful price tag, suppression of my soul. I was confined to a role and sure, the role had benefits, but it was still a role.

It wasn’t me.

For 60 years I wasn’t sure what I was but I was well trained to be a guy. I was invincible. I walked the streets at any time, day or night, and had no fear. I might get mugged for money but no one wanted to force sex on me. I had that privilege and I find now that, since I will probably change my gender, that privilege was enormously overlooked.

Strangely, with only a year and a half on HRT and totally presenting as male, I have had a very minor hint of a feeling of vulnerability. I feel it on the subway at night and sometimes during the day. It is an alien sensation that I have never felt before. It is unsettling and it will be a permanent part of the life I am choosing.

I will no longer be able to take my surrounding for granted. I won’t be able to…